Whoartthou, I appreciate what you're doing here.
I wrote a response to an old scenario you posted.
If you don't mind, please critique.
I won't resent you if you do not.
You’re having coffee at a café on your day off work when you see a lady looking annoyed and frustrated with three children in a disheveled state. One of the children starts misbehaving and you watch as she disciplines him by smacking him. The child starts crying and the mother yanks the other child by the arm to get him to move.
What do you do?
- On one hand: I could accept that people have different ways of disciplining their children and her way of doing so is not unusual or extreme. And thus mind my own business, unless the form of discipline witnessed becomes extreme.
- On the other hand: I may look to help the distressed woman, and explore the situation further by seeking more information.
E.g. I could approach the woman and make the point that she seems to have a lot on her hands. This is unlikely to come across confrontational and she may open up and express why she is annoyed. I could also offer the lady support, asking her if she needs help carrying groceries for example or if she would like to go to the coffee shop and speak more - to ease the situation - or give her a number for counseling if appropriate. Simultaneously, I could analyse the children to check if they’re healthy and any signs of child abuse. Further, I could try to determine if the lady is on drugs, in poverty etc. and ultimately whether she is a fit parent. When the lady seems to be more comfortable, I would ask why she slapped the child. Once I have these pieces of information, I can make a more educated decision.
To deal with this situation effectively or determine child abuse etc. more information is required and thus the second approach is preferred.
Would this change if the lady wasn’t the child’s mother?
Probably, depends on the circumstances. I would need to find out what is her relationship with the children. Is she a babysitter? A guardian? A family member? A kidnapper? I believe that forms of discipline should be decided by the parents/guardians and unless the lady has been given consent to hit the child it is not appropriate or ethical. And of course, even then, corporal punishment should be within reason, not to the extent where it can be deemed child abuse.
Why do you think the lady could have been behaving in this way?
The possible reasons are endless. However, I think the most probable reason is that she feels overwhelmed and frustrated with the children who are misbehaving (based off the scenario.)
What constitutes as child abuse?
Child abuse could be described as intentional or unintentional maltreatment of a child. This may come in the form of:
- Neglect.
- Physical/emotional/sexual harassment.
- Permitting someone to abuse a child (when safety isn't in danger or comprimised) or encouraging it.